We chose the Cham Islands as our destination, because the beauty-to-distance ratio was off the charts. So we called up Sue, and asked her to book us a couple of nights on the main island (the only one of the thirteen Cham Islands that is permanently inhabited by people).
A small bus picked us up at 8:30. And despite having a small, living carry-on, we were still able to be outside waiting as the bus pulled up. The driver commented on how nice it was to pick up tourists who were on time, and I had never been so proud.
Mimi did great on the bus ride, thoroughly charming the ten other travelers heading to the island. We arrived at the boat docks about a half hour later, unsure of exactly what we were getting ourselves into. We knew that until recently, the only way to get to the island was a small cargo ship that took a couple of hours to get there. But Sue mentioned that she booked us tickets on a speed boat, and she never lets us down. Of course, "speed boat" could mean anything, and I was skeptical that any boat in our sleepy beach town could go faster than a few miles an hour.
I was wrong.
I need to applaud Aimee for really, honestly attempting to smile while she clutched onto our baby as we ripped through the South China Sea. Our captain was seemingly paid a bonus every time the boat skipped out of the water. This was clearly not a trip many people bring their baby on.
Thirty minutes later, we arrived on solid ground, and I talked Aimee down from her absolute certainty that we were the worst parents on the planet. But as soon as I made a bit of progress, a motorbike taxi pulled up next to us. The boat captain said, "For you. To Homestay." Not helping.
We pointed to the baby and our rolling suitcase, as if that would somehow mean anything to a person who lives in a country where not a day (or even an hour) goes by that we don't see three adults, a baby, and a rolling suitcase packed onto motorbikes far smaller than this one. Predictably, the driver was unfazed, and just kept nodding to the back of her bike for us to get on.
Opting for continued marriage over the alternatives, I told Aimee to hang out on the docks with Mimi as I went with the motorbike driver to find out where our homestay was. Aimee later told me that when I was gone, a passerby came up to her. The woman said, unprompted, that she had to leave her two year old at home. "Oh, no, I couldn't bring my son here. Too hard to make the trip with a child." Still not helping. All Aimee heard was, "Blah, blah, worst mother ever, blah, blah, how could you do this to your daughter?"
So I left behind my baby, my wife, and my luggage for an unknown amount of time as I traversed a tropical island that I knew almost nothing about. But I only had about ten seconds to feel bad about that before we pulled up at the homestay. "What? Really? You couldn't have just told us that our homestay is a hundred feet away from the docks?!"
I said hello to the homestay owner, and told her that I was going to back to the docks to pick up my wife and daughter. But I was barely out the front door when I saw Aimee and Mimi emerging from a small side street. The motorbike driver had gone back to walk Aimee to the homestay. We both looked at each other with a bit of surprise and disbelief, and thought, "Well, that could have been avoided."
Thinking that I was now in the clear after planning our trip to Danger Island, I committed the unforced error of telling Aimee how much fun the motorbike ride was. Nope. Not in the clear.
But food always helps. After we dropped our bag off at the homestay, we ventured out for second breakfast (critical when traveling). The Cham Islands are in a delightful, pre-tourist stage compared to the rest of the country, so there weren't a ton of food options. But we found a little restaurant along the docks. The owners looked a little surprised to see a customer, which is never a good sign. But we only needed a fried egg and a slice of french bread, so we weren't that worried.
Long story short, the food was decent enough, but we might have been more impressed if we tried the Braised cardiac surgery. Or maybe the Vegetables and cotton balls.
As a general rule, I almost never make fun of mistranslations. The translation is there to make my life easier, and their English is certainly much better than my Vietnamese. But this menu was quite a delight.
 |
| Surprisingly, technology fish is not on the Monterrey Bay Aquarium's safe list. |
 |
| If I'm ever in a band again, our first single is going to be Hemp cultivation operating the dream. |
Along those same lines, Mimi is absolutely hypnotized by people speaking Vietnamese. We think it's because of the pitch changes. It can almost sound like people are singing as they talk to one another, and our baby can't get enough of it.
Ok. Back to the island. We made it to the homestay, our baby was safe, and we were still married. It was time to make this journey worth the trouble. The main draw of the Cham Islands is their stunning beaches, and we happen to be in to that sort of thing.
The homestay owner recommended that we take a motorbike to the beach. Nope. What else you got? Not much, it turns out. There aren't any cars on the island, and the best beach was a couple miles away. But we were up for the walk. So we packed up our baby and bathing suits, and made our way down the only road on the island. The owner warned us that the beach can be hard to find, and gave us directions based on the color of motorbikes that we would see parked on the side of the road. Island life.
We stepped over the buffalo poop, chose not to think too much about the snake carcass on the pavement, and passed a few goat on the side of the road.
We walked about thirty minutes along the absolutely stunning coastline. And just as the rolling hills were starting to take a toll on us, we saw a mirage in the distance.
And just like that, we forgot about the boat ride.
We continued a few hundred yards further until we saw the red motorbike on the side of the road.
There were a few others by it, which was even more convincing. I was initially skeptical that an entire beach could be easy to miss, but the owner wasn't kidding. The reason that Aimee and I went to the island was because of the pristine beaches far off the tourist trail. But the tourist trail has good signage and paved pathways. This did not. This had a highway barricade that we had to step over.
Aimee was a few steps ahead, and was starting down an unmarked, but otherwise promising trail.
P.S. As you probably noticed two photos ago, Mimi was way asleep at this point. And the thought of Aimee and I putting our own feet up for a few minutes was tantalizing. So we pantomimed our way down the trail.
After a few minutes of hiking through the brush, we started to hear faint clanking of dishes and chattering of people. We had been told that there was a tiny restaurant on the beach, so we knew we were close.
And just like that, we emerged from the jungle onto the set of a Corona commercial.
It was easily the most beautiful beach I had ever been to, and maybe the most beautiful in the world. You know what made it even better? Our baby was still sleeping.
We love you, Danger Island.
